Can people with herpes date? How many people succeed or fail in relationships?
One of the hot topics I frequently encountered while exploring herpes-related communities and gathering information was:
Can people with herpes date?
The answer is, of course, yes, it's possible.
Any sexually active adult can contract STIs, and people do get infected with various STIs, both major and minor. Among these, some like HPV can eventually clear up even if it takes several years, while others range from temporary symptoms like urethritis to lifelong conditions like HIV and HSV (Herpes) that require living as a carrier.
As you can see from this link, herpes carriers are very common worldwide. Particularly for genital herpes, which is the most concerning type, if we combine the carrier rates of type 2 (which commonly occurs on the genitals) and type 1 genital herpes (which, while less common, is showing an increasing trend), we can estimate a baseline rate of around 20%. Of course, this can vary by age group and country.
Yet despite this, people still hesitate about dating you. Why is that?
It's likely because, like AIDS, it's an incurable disease with a transmission rate that can never be completely dismissed. And the discomfort experienced during symptom outbreaks varies from person to person. While some people remain almost asymptomatic, others may experience severe pain and frequent recurrences.
But think about why you contracted herpes. You were likely one of those people who unfairly got the disease because your partner didn't disclose that they had herpes.
Of course, it's also possible that even though you knew about your partner's condition, the inevitable feelings of love made you want to continue being with them, and as a result, you became infected with the disease.
As a herpes carrier, what you need to show your partner is trust.
Even at this moment, experiments toward developing a herpes vaccine continue.
Moreover, through proper management, you can reduce the transmission probability per sexual encounter to below 1%.
Transmission Probability of HSV-2 (Herpes Type 2)
the transmission probabilities of HSV-2 based on medical research statistics.
Basic Transmission Probability (1-year basis)
Without any preventive measures:
- Male → Female: approximately 10%
- Female → Male: approximately 4%
(The higher infection rate for women is due to physiological structure)
*If you have sexual intercourse when prodromal symptoms are present or blisters have appeared, the probability is much higher than this. The above data refers to situations when there are no visibly observable blisters or prodromal symptoms felt in the body.
Reduction Effects by Prevention Method
- Antiviral medication (Valacyclovir, etc.)
- Reduces transmission risk by approximately 50%
- Condom use
- Reduces transmission risk by approximately 30-50%
- (Not complete protection - transmission is still possible from areas not covered by condoms)
- Sexual activity only during asymptomatic periods
- Asymptomatic viral shedding is still possible
- However, transmission risk is much lower than during symptomatic periods
When Combined (1-year estimates)
Antiviral medication + Condom + Asymptomatic periods:
- Male → Female: approximately 1-2%
- Female → Male: less than 1%
Using all three methods: Transmission risk decreases by more than 90%, but it's not 0%
Additional Important Information
⚠️ Asymptomatic viral shedding:
- Virus can be shed on approximately 10-20% of days annually even without symptoms
- A significant portion of transmission occurs during asymptomatic periods
People already infected with HSV-1 have partial immunity against HSV-2.
Partner is HSV-1 carrier + Antiviral medication + Condom + Asymptomatic periods:
Estimated transmission probability: Less than 1% (likely below 0.5%)
Show your partner how you manage your health and hygiene, and demonstrate your efforts to prevent transmission.
Tell them how much you value them. This trust actually brings positive results.
Throughout their lives, most people face various types of STI risks. HPV, which has an even higher transmission rate than HSV, also remains in the body for several years causing various problems. Recognize that you simply have HSV, and that most people can live without problems through consistent management. Also remember that vaccine development continues to progress.
Dating Rejection Due to Herpes Disclosure
Doctors say that herpes is very common and not as dangerous as people think, but quite many people reject dating due to vague fears about it and negative perceptions of the disease. Based on a statistical compilation of community posts, when herpes carriers disclosed their status to non-carriers, the probability of being rejected was relatively higher for men compared to women.
People who successfully dated after disclosing their herpes status, especially men, reportedly had healthier bodies than the average male through regular exercise to strengthen immunity and consuming foods that boost immune function. Along with these advantages, they were able to increase their success rate by reassuring their partners with a positive attitude and presenting specific transmission probability examples like those mentioned above.
Suppressive therapy and immune system management are not difficult. Through such management, transmission cases between couples or married partners in long-term relationships were not common within the community. Only about one post was found among every 2-3 pages of content.
If you still have concerns or questions about herpes, please refer to these links.
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